Meh

It’s a broke day but everything is ok.
I’m up all night but everything is alright.
It’s a rough week and I don’t get enough sleep.
It’s a long year pretending I belong here.

“

—

Eminem

Questions to a Good Friend

Why did you do it? Were you in that much emotional pain? Did I cause some of it? Do you blame me? Do you blame anyone? Did you think about how we all failed you before you did it?

Did you think that you would miss us? Or wonder whether we’d miss you?

Did you talk to God? Did you feel His presence? Did you see Him in the sanctuary? Did you really believe that He loved you? Did He meet you on your way?

Why didn’t you come to us? Or did you try but we turned you away? Did you know we loved you? And that we still love you? Did you think we wouldn’t understand? Did you reminisce about old times? I do wish I could go back and I could take with me my understanding of your life. If only I knew then what I know now…

Did it hurt when it happened, or was it instant? Did you regret it when it was too late? Did you jump from standing, or slip from sitting? Were you filled with hate or longing? Longing for freedom… How thick was the rope? How long was it? How did you know to tie the knot? Was it a slipknot, or just any old knot? What were you wearing?

Are you free now? What are you doing now? Is Yeshua with you? Do you remember me? Will you come and meet me on that day? What do you look like now? Can you feel the sun on your face? Do you know I miss you and that I’m sorry? I wish I could have seen you one more time and shown you extravagant love.

I wish I could have rescued you.

I don’t think any of it would have helped though. I think the minute I turned my back you’d be sinking into despair again. I wish Yeshua could have healed you.

You were a good friend, and I’m finding it hard to say goodbye, but I don’t get a choice.

I love you.

Claim those mountains!

The Boogie

Here’s to you, Sunshine. In your blue and golden array sinking into a rainbow dream.

Here’s to you, Good Times. With shoulders unburdened souls float weightlessly over a bubbling brook of delight. Unrestrained. Untainted.

One more time for you, Moonlight. Twinkling wonder, peaceful cool. Quiet sighs and tangle entwined bodies grasping what is most precious.

Behind me. All behind me. Ahead: the valley. Sorrow carves into even the deepest sense of being.

A nod to you, Hard Times, enveloping in darkness, the fabric of belief unravelling as blindness descends.

Hand in hand with you, Fear. A flare of hope illuminates a constant companion of Self Doubt.

Walking together. There is no path. The path is made by walking.
The voices of others are heard as another language. Words spoken are lost in the spaces of understanding.

In time. In time the sun will rise again upon the world. The seam of black mined, excavated, removed. Deep caverns will be filled - joy overflowing. Thrashing threads rewoven into something more beautiful, more fitting.

But now to accept.

But now to experience the thrilling highs and the suffocating lows meshed into a single moment.

But now to wait.

- Anonymous, 2009

…the spiritual journey is not a success story or a career move. It is rather a series of humiliations of the false self.

“

—	Thomas Keating

It’s hard to imagine sustaining significant friendships on the margins if we ourselves are not part of a community. It’s simply too difficult to do alone. A community of friends who share our deepest commitments to God and to those on the margins keeps us accountable and gives us strength and support.

“

—	Friendships at the Margins - Heuertz and Pohl

I the Near East, centuries ago successive cultures built new cities on top of the last ones. For some reason people didn’t bother using new space; they just burned down what was there when they defeated an enemy and built something new.

The ruins of these ancient cities built on top of one another are called “tells”.

The spiritual journey is like an archaeological dig through the various stages of our lives, from where we are now back through the midlife crisis, adult life, adolescence, puberty, early childhood, infancy.

What happens if we allow the archaeological dig to continue? We feel we are getting worse. But we are not really getting worse; we are just finding out how bad off we always were.

That is an enormous grace.

“

—	Thomas Keating - The Human Condition

If we don’t allow the Spirit of God to address the deeper levels of our attachments to ourselves and to our programs for happiness [security and survival, power and control and affection and esteem], we will pour into the world the negative elements of out self-centeredness, adding to the conflicts and social disasters that come from overidentifying with the biases and prejudices of our particular culture and upbringing.

“

—	Thomas Keating - The Human Condition

The fact that we experience anxiety and annoyance is a certain sign that, in the unconsious, there is an emotional program for happiness that has just been frustrated

“

—	Thomas Keating - The Human Condition

God has not promised to take away our trials, but to help us change our attitude toward them. That is what holiness really is.

“

—	Thomas Keating - The Human Condition

Emotions are energy. If they are not processed, they become blocks in our bodies and nervous systems to the free flow of our energy systems and of grace.

“

—	Thomas Keating - The Human Condition